imported>FairiequeenArch: /* James W. Strutt */ comments

2011-03-12T21:20:56Z

James W. Strutt: comments

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===[[James W. Strutt]]===
Per the comments on the discussion page I would like some feedback as a first time contributor and am curious if I should be migrating this article to a specific template.
[[User:FairiequeenArch|FairiequeenArch]] ([[User talk:FairiequeenArch|talk]]) 16:07, 6 August 2010 (UTC)

'''Comments'''

Hi there. Although it's clearly an article on an important Canadian architect, I feel it's perhaps trying a bit too hard to make him sound important, coming across a bit like a "[[puff piece]]" at times. For example, is "In all his work, Mr. Strutt explored the beauty of geometry, structure and form in nature" really neccesary? Whose opinion is that? If it's a quote from somewhere, then that's fine, but at the moment it's not attributed. After all, modern architecture is often controversial - have any of his designs been criticised?

The same could be said for "For fifty-five years Strutt contributed prolificly to the field of Modern Canadian Architecture." That's already made clear by the list of his projects.

Other recommendations would be to get rid of the capitals in the list of projects. Obviously, this has been copied from somewhere else, but needs to look like a standard Wikipedia list (something like [[Ernő Goldfinger]], for example). It would also be good to have some images of his work, so a few pictures of his public buildings would fit the bill there.

The other major problem is that it's almost entirely unreferenced. Referencing is especially important for a biographical article. As he died recently, I would imagine there might be some obituaries around that would corroborate some of the details in the main body text. Hope that's some help. '''[[User:Bob Castle|Bob]]''' <small>'''[[User talk:Bob Castle|talk]]'''</small> 10:39, 6 September 2010 (UTC)

:The other problem is that quite a bit is almost copied verbatim from [http://groups.google.co.uk/group/alt.obituaries/msg/ae87fce537fd2264], which is presumably copyrighted material. It will need to be revised into your own words here. [http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=f1498e25-f089-40df-ac6c-f3b3e4cd757b] and [http://www.planetizen.com/node/36726] might be good references for citing some of the material. '''[[User:Bob Castle|Bob]]''' <small>'''[[User talk:Bob Castle|talk]]'''</small> 10:51, 6 September 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the great feedback Bob...as I mention on the subject article talk page "I claim Novice status". I hope to finalize your suggestions soon, and as can be clearly seen from how long it took me to get back to you I have had a series of distractions of late that have just recently been -and some, in the near future will be- resolved.

I am in complete agreement with your first comment and I even went into edit mode on the article to change the term "beauty" to "concepts"...however upon doing so I realized that sentence is a direct quote (referenced with a small footnote) to the article (referenced in the footnote)...likely it should be done another way? (Point the direction and it will be done!)

I have, as you suggested, replaced the all 'upper case' list of Works with 'title case' and will refer to the page you suggested for a final -well likely not final- corrective formatting/edit. I have plans to add at least one image per building type -and several in some cases.

I would also like to add a referenced list of published articles about him and even a list of published articles he wrote...there is actually quite a few in each category (and yes only a couple by yours truely- although in my non-wikipedian persona I am often referenced as the defacto 'Strutt' expert, my knowledge of the man and his works is a steadily growing -and currently convoluted- mass of information).

I really appreciate your feedback, especially as it is both constructive and comes complete with suggested solutions. Thanks again.[[User:FairiequeenArch|FairiequeenArch]] ([[User talk:FairiequeenArch|talk]]) 21:20, 12 March 2011 (UTC)

MyWiki:WikiProject Architecture/Peer review/James Strutt - Revision history

imported>FairiequeenArch: /* James W. Strutt */ comments